Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Goodbye, Japan

I got up at 5:45am, aiming to arrive 3 hours early for my 11:45 am flight. This plan was, of course, executed perfectly. My main luggage consisted of a large rucksack and a sword. I always feel happy and relaxed when I have my sword with me. I imagine it has something to do with the feeling that I could slay anyone who annoys me, particularly people carrying Starbucks bags.

Things went smoothly until I reach Immigration. The officer was a real bitch. She demanded to know why I had been in Japan for so long, and clearly didn't accept my claim that I had been sightseeing. I'm a little bit worried that she may have written something in my computer file to the effect of "Don't let this little bastard back into the land of Zen, tea without milk, and schoolgirl porn." When I do return to Japan I'll be sure to launch an ECM attack against the computer system to aid my easy entry. That, or use Ninja mind control on the staff.

I had made the wise choice of flying with SAS. Not only do they have the coolest name of any airline; they also have the best food. As I approached my seat, I was both surprised and appalled to see a rather large Danish woman in it. Just as I was about to drag her out of the seat by her hair, I didn't. Instead I put my hand luggage into a nearby overhead locker. This was the fist time for me to use such a locker, and it was surprisingly convenient. In the past I had always kept my hand luggage with me for the simple reason that I like to have something to protect my head with in the event of a plane crash. Besides, after playing "Zak Mckrakken and the Alien Mindbenders from Space" it's always disappointing to open a cabin locker without finding something cool like SCUBA gear to steal. But I digress... After manoeuvring my slender body past this whale of a woman and seating myself by the window, I could tell that she wasn't pleased with my presence. Fortunately she asked the staff to move to some empty seats so that she could have more room for her massive bottom, so I had two seats to myself for the duration of the 10 hour flight.

Changed planes in the rather stylish Copenhagen airport. Arrived in London Heathrow. Instantly I began to feel distressed. Heathrow airport is such a scummy place. Every thing was broken, under construction or extremely dirty. If I had been arriving in Japan I would have had a 2 hour journey ahead of me. Being England, the journey was 4 hours, largely spent sitting in uncomfortable trains, surrounded be unpleasant people.

I eventually got back to Norwich, and went to sleep after my parents have me a brief tour of the new house.

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