She's Electric

Watched "Red Dwarf", one of the greatest British situation comedies. Brought back great memories of watching "Darkstar" at the Electric Cinema in Birmingham. The Electric cinema is one of the few cinemas in England that show two films for the price of one every week. When I watched "Dark Star", it was as part of a triple bill with "Dr Strange Love or How I learnt to stop worrying and love the bomb" and "Silent Running". All three are great films. Unlike life.

A Job Lot Of Jobs

Got a phonecall from the company to say I got the job. Like I care. Spent a lot of time looking for an income tax document that I've been told I have to take to work on my first day.

Interwho?

Had a job interview, my first in two years. There was another guy waiting for an interview as well. Fortunately for me, he was 30 minute late because he had misread the letter sent to him by the company. He was also dressed as a refugee. The interview was just like any other. When will people finally see what a waste of time and effort everything is????

Don't Give Me Any Stick

Did some "Roku Shaku Bojutsu", which is fighting with six foot sticks. Lots of fun.

Wondering About Summer?

"In February, if thou hearest thunder, Thou shalt see a summer wonder"

Are You A Slave? Find Out Now!

Filled out a job application form for a crap job. A lot like life really, as we're often forced into positions where we have to beg for stuff we don't want. There are many reasons for getting a job, but the reason against is so overwhelmingly strong; "Whoever has not two-thirds of his time to himself is a slave" (Nietzsche)

Let Me Tell You About March

"March goes in with an adder's head and goes out with a peacock's tail"

Driving Miss Crazy

I've given up on the more structured blog style, although I may use it occasionally. I'll also write some diary entries in ghetto speak and some in Yorkshire tongue, just to keep my students on their toes. I went driving today for the first time in three years. It was a whole lot of fun, but also a bit frightening. Thus the similarities between my drive and eating octopus sushi were quite unnerving.

Mark, Lard And Everything Inbetween

What I've been...
Doing: Painting walls. Playing Dopewars on SDF. Attending a party.
Eating: New potatoes. Wheatabix. Plums.
Watching: nothing!
Wearing: German army boots. Torn T-shirts. Combats.
Listening to: Mark and Lard on Radio One.
Thinking about: Public key encryption. Ways to make money.
Pointing my browser at: www.dailyrotten.com

Island In The Sky, Island In A Pie

What I've been...
Doing: Job hunting. Fox hunting. Badger baiting. Fishing.
Eating: Thousand Island dressing and baked beans.
Watching: "The Office".
Wearing: German army boots. 10 quid jeans.
Listening to: "Stop making sense" by The Talking Heads.
Thinking about: Loneliness. Tanita Tikaram.
Pointing my browser at: www.phack.org

A New You

I've decided that my diary should be more structured, so when I can be bothered I'll follow this new format:
What I've been...
Doing: Watching children. Going to the library. Crying blood.
Eating: Figs. Creme brulle. Offal Frapacino.
Watching: "The Day Today". "Goldfinger".
Wearing: Cotton rich socks. A cape. Cheap sunglasses.
Listening to: "The Teaches Of Peaches" by Peaches
Thinking about: Vivisection. Broken mirrors. Lepricorns.
Pointing my browser at: www.ntk.net

We're Walking In The Air

I spent the morning painting the walls of my parents' new dining room. I'd like to say that I got more paint on my clothes than the walls and that someone mistook me for a time-traveling snowman. That would have been funny. Sadly, however, I'm a highly skilled painter and I did a first class job. OK, that's not true either, but nor is much of what people say and write.

Cheese, Please!

Waited for a delivery of floor tiles. Continued waiting. etc. Ate some cheese. A very dull day. How can anyone have enough stuff to write in a blog?

Jet Lad's Jet Lag

I had the most amazing jet lag today. It wasn't until 16:46 that I woke up, meaning I had slept for about 17 hours. I felt pretty refreshed and was glad that I had slept so long. It was a typical grey afternoon and it was also a bit chilly. When I decided to check out English TV, I found that the correct time was in fact 4:46. I can only imagine that some kind of intelligence agents intercepted my luggage somewhere between Japan and the UK in order to tamper with my alarm clock. As I was about to take an early morning run around Norwich, I decided not to.

Goodbye, Japan

I got up at 5:45am, aiming to arrive 3 hours early for my 11:45 am flight. This plan was, of course, executed perfectly. My main luggage consisted of a large rucksack and a sword. I always feel happy and relaxed when I have my sword with me. I imagine it has something to do with the feeling that I could slay anyone who annoys me, particularly people carrying Starbucks bags.

Things went smoothly until I reach Immigration. The officer was a real bitch. She demanded to know why I had been in Japan for so long, and clearly didn't accept my claim that I had been sightseeing. I'm a little bit worried that she may have written something in my computer file to the effect of "Don't let this little bastard back into the land of Zen, tea without milk, and schoolgirl porn." When I do return to Japan I'll be sure to launch an ECM attack against the computer system to aid my easy entry. That, or use Ninja mind control on the staff.

I had made the wise choice of flying with SAS. Not only do they have the coolest name of any airline; they also have the best food. As I approached my seat, I was both surprised and appalled to see a rather large Danish woman in it. Just as I was about to drag her out of the seat by her hair, I didn't. Instead I put my hand luggage into a nearby overhead locker. This was the fist time for me to use such a locker, and it was surprisingly convenient. In the past I had always kept my hand luggage with me for the simple reason that I like to have something to protect my head with in the event of a plane crash. Besides, after playing "Zak Mckrakken and the Alien Mindbenders from Space" it's always disappointing to open a cabin locker without finding something cool like SCUBA gear to steal. But I digress... After manoeuvring my slender body past this whale of a woman and seating myself by the window, I could tell that she wasn't pleased with my presence. Fortunately she asked the staff to move to some empty seats so that she could have more room for her massive bottom, so I had two seats to myself for the duration of the 10 hour flight.

Changed planes in the rather stylish Copenhagen airport. Arrived in London Heathrow. Instantly I began to feel distressed. Heathrow airport is such a scummy place. Every thing was broken, under construction or extremely dirty. If I had been arriving in Japan I would have had a 2 hour journey ahead of me. Being England, the journey was 4 hours, largely spent sitting in uncomfortable trains, surrounded be unpleasant people.

I eventually got back to Norwich, and went to sleep after my parents have me a brief tour of the new house.