Saturday, February 24, 2007

The Nuclear Family


Got up early to go to London for a CND demo against the replacement of the UK's Trident nuclear weapons system. I spent quite a while debating which book to take with me. Eventually I chose "Spy story" by Len Deighton.

The coach journey seemed to go quickly, the demo was crap but the book was great. Another grain of sand in the hourglass of life. Another day closer to the end.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Cube Farm

As it was Bal's first visit to sunny Norwich, I thought I would invite the usual suspects over for lunch. Keiko arrived first to help prepare pizza bases and toppings, Bal made an Italian salad. At 1 pm Edward Pacman, Takako and Koji arrived and the festivities began. Takako made her trademark curry pizza, which has now become a firm favourite of mine.

After lunch we watched Office Space, projected onto the wall of my living room. Everyone seemed to find it very amusing, although there were a few jokes that were a bit beyond Keiko, Takako and Koji. We finished things off with tea and cake. Perfect.

Friday, February 09, 2007

I'm Proud To Be Hungry For Germany's Great Future

A sensible start to the day consisting of swimming with Keiko followed by teaching English to Keiko and Takako. Hopefully this will become a Friday morning routine.

Headed to the supermarket as I'm having a party tomorrow. There's nothing "super" about a "supermarket" so it's a rather unsuitable name. Bought ingredients for pizzas.

Received an email confirming that I'll have somewhere to live in Tokyo so I can finally move back to Japan in September. Somehow I need to ship most of my belongings there and dispose of the rest.

Note: The title of this blog post comes from "Hansi: The Girl Who Loved The Swastika" published by Spire Christian Comics, 1978.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Bureaucracy Now!

Went to County Hall with my boss to have a meeting with some of the IT staff about the training requirements of their staff. County Hall is responsible for the 600 local government sites across the county, which involves a lot of IT. The meeting was interesting and enjoyable, unlike many aspects of my job. We spent about 2 hours discussing the IT infrastructure of the county and the roles of the tech support staff. It was incredible to hear first-hand how disorganised and bureaucratic the local government is.

In the afternoon I met Sachiko and her friend Sora in the library for an English lesson. Although their English levels were different, the lesson went well.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Hamburglar

Arrived at work to find the computer school had been broken in to. Three laptops had been taken, no damage was done except to the fire exit which had been the point of entry. For some reason my laptop hadn't been taken! This came as a great relief as it's full of random stuff that, while replaceable, would be a hassle to find again. Should be getting replacement laptops in the next couple of weeks.

Went to college in the evening. I did my best to fuck up the class; it's the only way they'll learn:)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sunday Hunch, Sunday Lunch

It was great to have a lie-in this morning. Met Keiko at 9 am for a swim. Hopefully this will become a habit. Once the weather improves I'll probably try to swim every morning before work.

Keiko and I met our friends Takako and Koji at 12:30. We walked to a pub where we were joined by Sachiko, a young woman from Osaka. We had a traditional English pub lunch which was a first for my friends. The food was of good quality, and we were sitting upstairs, away from most other customers so the environment was quiet and smoke-free. The dessert I chose, hot chocolate fudge cake, was utterly breathtaking.

In the evening I helped Keiko plan a presentation for university comparing The Grand Tour with the Edo-era Tokaido pilgrimages. Every time I help Keiko with her study it becomes even clearer to me that the teaching staff at her university are criminally stupid. They know nothing of their subject, and they don't give a fuck.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

EASF In Ipswich

Failed to go swimming this morning. Train problems today meant I had to take a bus for part of the journey. Finally arrived in Ipswich and found my way to the venue for East Anglia Social Forum.

We had bread and humus for lunch. I've been eating fruit to the exclusion of almost everything else recently, so the bread and humus tasted amazing. There was a workshop on using "Non-violent communication" during meetings. It wasn't very well received, which pleased me greatly. After that we talked for an hour or so about the future of EASF. Due to the fact that there were only ten of us there, we were able to have a worthwhile discussion.

I had the same crappy journey home that I had had on the way to Ipswich. I spent my time on the train and bus reading about different methods to subvert the Windows XP firewall, making the journey slightly easier to endure.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Sink Or Swim

Got to the pool at 8 am this morning. The atmosphere was very different to that of last night. Everyone was very friendly. Teacher/plumber/plasterer. After swimming I met Keiko and Takako for an English lesson.

Borders still don't have the new issue of 2600 magazine. I'm starting to get impatient. The ironic thing is that 2600 isn't very good. Like life.

In the evening I met Richard and Anwar for tea at a vegetarian cafe. Richard left suddenly, so Anwar and I went elsewhere. I had a cup of something the cafe described as "Chai", it wasn't even close, but was quite pleasant nonetheless.

Didn't stay out very late. Wonder if I'll make it to the swimming pool tomorrow...

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Taking The Plunge

Studied Windows Active Directory in the library. Really must take the Microcrap exam in the next few weeks. Had a Japanese lesson after from my friend Takako. I'm trying to persuade Takako to become a Japanese teacher as she seems to have a natural aptitude for it. We took tea afterwards and spent a long time discussing various issues currently affecting Japan.

This evening I finally joined a swimming pool. It's very cheap, only 21 UKP a month, and it's 10 minutes walk from where I work so I should be able to go regularly. The pool was quite crowded, but I'm told it's quieter in the mornings. There was a very small sauna and a small steam room as well. I went to the supermarket on the way home to buy loads of fruit and vegetables for my new, healthier lifestyle. How long will it last? How long will I last? Only time will tell, and the wasp factory.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Heart Of Darkness

When I got home from work I watched "The Engineering Of Consent", the second programme in the documentary series "The Century Of The Self". It is essential viewing for everybody. No exceptions.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Easy Like Sunday Mourning

Relaxing day at home studying Japanese. Itching to get back to Tokyo. Here are a few things I intend to do when I get back there:
(1) Explore the secret underground city and anything else I find.
(2) Go to the dojo three times a week.
(3) Do some serious hitch-hiking.
(4) Climb mountains.
(5) Write and publish a guidebook to Tokyo.
(6) Rain fire and death upon all those who stand in my way.
(7) Eat shit-loads of wacky Japanese sweets.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

FUBAR

Just tried to sign up for Barcamp2 in London, only to find all the tickets had already gone. It seems that the 100 tickets were snapped up in just a couple of hours. I should probably organise a Barcamp in Cambridge sometime in the next couple of months, then one in Birmingham.

Karamoon Blog News
I've switched over to the new version of Blogger and am thus able to add labels to my posts. Click the labels to find related blog posts. It will take me a few months to apply labels to all my old blog posts(around 600) but it will add a new layer of depth to the end user experience.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Fuck Work


Went to Keiko's house in the morning to give her and Takako an English lesson. I was quite tough on them both, and as a result the lesson went very well. Takako often provides deep insights into things without warning. I've come to expect this, which is a lovely feeling.

Had a light, late lunch with Keiko in a cafe. Went to Borders afterwards, still no sign of the new issue of 2600 magazine. This photo was taken about a week ago. Although my photos are quite poor, they are improving.

Listened to a bunch of podcasts in the evening, mainly from "Tokyo Calling" and "Herro From Japan". Both podcasts convince me that, without a shadow of a doubt, working is bullshit. If something is referred to as "working", it is fucked up. If it wasn't fucked up, we wouldn't need to call it "working". A life involving a boss, a job, colleagues etc. etc. etc. isn't for me.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Hacker Calendar

Spent quite a bit of the day photographing Japanese food packaging. The photos will appear on a couple of Japanese food blogs I set up, Snack Fan Japan and Nihon Tasty.

There are lots of exciting events coming up over the next few months. The first is EASF in Ipswich next weekend. There will be several talks and workshops on organising housing and food co-ops.

There will be a Barcamp in London in February. Barcamp is a tech conference, but one without a schedule. You just turn up and sign up to give a presentation. I haven't been to one before, and it looks very interesting although I will be way out of my depth from a knowledge point of view.

I and some other SDFer's are organising an SDF con in London for sometime in March or April. I'll probably give my talk on Turing, or the talk I gave at BrumCon about security card systems.

In May, I hope to make it to Croatia for a hacker camp which will be held at an old military base. No firm details have been released yet.

The CCC have confirmed the details of their hacker camp which will be held in Germany this August. Should be incredible.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

SNAFU

Had an early start this morning as my company was running a networking day for several companies and organisations in the city. I gave a presentation entitled "Security For Organisations: Best Practice In The Internet Age". Most of it was about social engineering and phreaking. It seemed to be received well. Overall the day was pretty successful and most importantly the food was good.

In the evening I went to a cafe where the first part of a documentary series, "Century Of The Self", was being shown. Episode one was called "Happiness Machines". I had heard very good things about this series, and about "The Power Of Nightmares", another series made by the same producer, Adam Curtis. The Wikipedia pages I've linked to have links to the documentaries on Google Video. Watch them. Then comment here. Simple.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tokyo Calling



A couple of days ago I started listening to a podcast called Tokyo Calling by Scott Lockman. It's very different to any other podcast I've heard, and I recommend it highly, particularly to people who, like me, feel podcasting sucks.
It's a very natural podcast. In one episode, for example, Scott's wife shouts up to him, asking if he's running a bath. He just answers that he's doing a podcast. Scott's three daughters frequently appear in the podcast, and "It's pretty remarkable to see the young ones being young. It's such a special time. I'm grateful to have the chance to be part of it". Very touching at times.

Had dinner at The Thai Dragon with an old school friend called Richard. It was great to catch up, and we shared many happy memories of a camping trip in France we went on together when we were around 18 years old. The Thai restaurant was, as it always is, perfect. Snow had been falling while we were in the restaurant so we had to walk back on slippery pavements. When I got home I listened to the second Dengue Fever album, "Escape From Dragon House" which arrived today. Will comment on it soon.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Hobbit House

Ate breakfast this morning. A significant, albeit small, step in the right direction.

Came across this website of a house in Wales for hobbits and goblins. So very wrong, but quite cool at the same time.

An easy day at work, eating sandwiches and reading Wikipedia.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Riding A Wave

I have been feeling very positive for a few days now. I put it down to the following:
  • Teaching English again

  • Studying Japanese

  • Thinking about Japan all the time

  • Working on the Tokyo Robotnik website

  • Eating at sensible times, and eating less junk

  • Getting good advice from friends

  • Making solid plans to leave the UK



I shall try to continue riding this wave, if I can last more than a few weeks, I think it will be very hard to fall back into old ways.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Weaving Dreams With Dreamweaver

Spent most of the day playing around with Dreamweaver. I'll be adding a 500-page database to Tokyo Robotnik soon so I'm enjoying Dreamweaver's tools for search-and-replace across multiple files etc. Some people allege that the database is merely a cheap attempt at getting some Googlejuice. Such allegations are without foundation.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Memories Of Japan

I've been thinking a lot about my time in Japan. Many memories have filled my head, some things that I did for the first time, some things that were simple but had infinite beauty, and some things which can only be described as mind-blowing, such as training with Hatsumi-soke in Noda. Here is a random selection:

My first night of sleeping on a futon. Waking up in the morning to the scent of tatami mats.

My first Japanese earthquake. I was lying in bed, having a dream about watching a woman have a violent fit. I woke up to find the room shaking, and for some reason I thought the best course of action was to deal with death by going to sleep.

Managing to order food for the first time. I went into a place and asked for a random Japanese dish. I didn't know that I was in a Yoshinoya, a chain which pretty much sells just one dish, gyudon, which consists of marinated beef on rice. I managed to get a bowl of gyudon, and it tasted fucking amazing.

Eating at a Kaiten Zushi place. Plates of sushi were floating around on boats in a miniature river. Surreal and awesome.

One day realising that I was speaking Japanese. People told me that this would happen to me, but I couldn't see how it would be possible. Yet, one day, I was speaking Japanese.

Playing with Japanese hand held hanabi(fireworks) in Odaiba.

Going for a Hanami(cherry blossom viewing) picnic with some friends. There were hundreds of people in the park, and some were old. There was a group of old people sitting near my friends, passing a karaoke machine around, singing old Japanese pop songs. I hate old people. I particularly hate Japanese old people. Fortunately I had a ghetto blaster, a cassette tape of The Teaches Of Peaches, and a samurai sword. It was a winning combination. I was able to play loud, semi-pornographic music, without anyone daring to look in my direction...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Stormy Thursday

It's been very windy across the UK. So far, 13 people have died as a result of the weather. I'm not one of them.

My friend Takako came over to teach me Japanese. Before the lesson I showed her my collection of Make Magazine. She was very impressed and says we should start making some of the projects from the magazine. It shall be so.

Keiko and I attended the monthly lecture on Japanese culture. The speaker had to cancel due to weather. Instead, the assistant director of the institute gave a short talk on archeology and then a research student gave a short talk about the Tokaido road which ran between Tokyo and Kyoto. Both talks were interesting and delivered well. After the talks Keiko and I made a quick exit, which was followed by the drinking of tea.

While taking tea my friend Simon called me for some information about Wikileaks. The project sounds interesting, I'll look into it when I get home. (Why do I not have Net access everywhere I go?!?!?!!)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

23C3 Reloaded

Some of the talks from the 23 rd Chaos Communication Congress are now online. I watched a couple at work this morning. Download them here.

Read a very sad article about John Draper. Living In The Trash Draper was the 13th employee at Apple but is better known for pioneering blue boxing. I met Draper in 2004 and talked to him quite a bit. He is a brilliant man but his head has been fucked by all the LSD he took. Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad. I mean it.

Ordered the second Dengue Fever album, Escape From Dragon House from Amazon. It will be sent out from New York so it will probably take at least a week to arrive.

Didn't leave work until 8:30 pm. 11.5 hours is really too much for me, even though things weren't too busy.

TV's own Mitch Altman will be on Off The Hook tonight. I'm very much looking forward to it.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Teaching And Learning Of The Japanese Language

The Japanese language is written using two phonetic alphabets, known as Kana and Hiragana, and one ideographic alphabet known as Kanji. There are also several ways to write the Japanese language using the Roman alphabet. These methods are known as Romaji. The most popular Romaji system is the modified-Hepburn system. The one chosen by the Japanese government, Kunrei-shiki, is so stupid that it doesn't warrant comment.

Japanese teachers generally start by teaching Romaji, followed by Hiragana, then Katakana, then Kanji. Better teachers will skip Romaji. There are many problems with this method of teaching. It is essential that students learn Kanji from the very first lesson, so that Kanji cease to be seen as a difficult hurdle, something to be tackled at some point in the distant future. The very reason that Kanji are difficult is that they are not taught from the outset. A student learns to recognize various Japanese words, learns their meaning, and learns their pronunciation. These three aspects become one item in memory. A year or two later the student is introduced to the Kanji characters for these words. It is very difficult to add a Kanji character to something that has already been memorised.

Only two people told me to learn some Kanji characters before moving to Japan, Mark Rebuck and Ben Jones. Mark sold me a huge number of Japanese language textbooks for a pitifully small amount of money, books which are still useful to me today, six years later.

For those wishing to visit Japan, the most useful thing to do is learn some Kanji characters. The best book to use for this purpose is called "Read Japanese Today" by Len Walsh, published by Tuttle. My copy has "Mark Rebuck, 1992" written in the front cover.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Productivity And Positivity

Opened a drawer of my desk at work to find a graphics card that I had ordered last week. Can't wait to get home and install it.

Easy day at work. Sat at my desk, watching my life slip away.

When I got home I installed my new graphics card and plugged in a monitor. Although my second monitor is only about 15", it's wonderful to have a larger desktop spread across two monitors.

Watched a very strange video about Starfire, a Sun Microsystems HCI project. The interface system seems to consist of a large touchscreen-desk system and a fuckwit American woman. Well worth watching: Starfire

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Hero's Return

Woke up very late. Can't see how I'm going to have any chance of waking up at 7:30 am tomorrow to get ready for work. I couldn't get to sleep until 4 am this morning. I had a very strange dream about finding a body that was trapped underwater and trying to remove it. I was in a hotel, in a room which had an entrance to a flooded basement. For some reason I had to recover the body but I knew that it was going to be horrific when I finally got it out, so I was very apprehensive. I wonder what this means...

Watched Steve Job's keynote address at MacWorld 1997 on YouTube. Watch it here

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Crumpets And Trumpets

Woke up late. Ate some crumpets and was shocked to find that I had consumed 60 % of my recommended salt intake.

Spent the day reading, watching The Computer Chronicles on Google Video and trying to study.

Felt restless all evening. Couldn't sleep so I watched a couple more episodes of The Computer Chronicles.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Ocha-ken

Keiko and Takako came over in the morning for an English lesson. We discussed a short story about a man being abducted by aliens. Keiko stayed for lunch and then taught me Japanese in the afternoon.

I watched an episode of Ocha-Ken downloaded from TeaPuppies.com Ocha-ken is a toy dog which came free with a certain brand of green tea. The toy was so popular that a short anime series was made about it. I think it's aimed at kids who are 4 or 5 years old, but I like it very much.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

No Gods, No Masters, I Will Not Serve

As a result of my haircut this morning, I'm now the proud owner of less hair.

In the morning I met my friend Takako in the library for a Japanese lesson. It feels great to be studying Japanese again. I'm focusing on reading and writing Japanese and my aim is to master the first 1000 Japanese characters this year. 2000 characters are commonly used in daily Japanese.

In the evening I went to Cinema City to watch the film "Pan's Labyrinth" with Keiko and my aunt. The film is set in Spain, 1944 and deals with the aftermath of the Spanish civil war. The most powerful scene is one in which a supposedly cowardly doctor tells a captain in Franco's army that he is unable to follow orders without questioning them. The doctor knows that this will cost him his life. The film was considerably more bloody than I had imagined, which certainly added to its power. The only criticism I have of the film is that I think anarchism should have been a more major theme. As all clever boys and girls know, anarchist revolution is the only solution.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Black Wednesday

Had a really bad morning at work. We had a meeting about the future of the company in which my boss said we are going to have to do things very differently in order to continue to receive government funding. When my boss was out of the room I told the office manager that I'm probably going to have to quit. My job is becoming increasingly and trying to live off such little money is also very difficult.

My colleague Chris came back from lunch with a huge chocolate chip cookie for me, which made life feel considerably better.

Spent most of the afternoon playing with remote shutdown programs and trying to get Wake On LAN to work. Success was very limited, but it's something I want to pursue because being able to boot and shutdown all the PC's at work from my laptop would make me feel more positive about work and life in general.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Hypermedia

Spent the day reading about Virtual Reality and human computer interaction. Also read a long article on Ted Nelson. Nelson has some very interesting ideas, although he's too bitter and too crazy. I saw him speak about his hypertext project a couple of years ago in London. His ideas for hypertext are much more far reaching than HTML, sadly he hasn't got anywhere with it over the past 30 years.

I've decided that I must finally learn to use Dreamweaver. I'll probably have to teach it at work soon, and it would be useful for making prototype websites. My only concern is that it will make me lazy and I'll start producing crappy websites using tables and non-compliant HTML and CSS, just like I used to:)

Monday, January 08, 2007

Back At Work (With A Smirk?)

Against all odds, I'm somehow back at work. In my absence, lots has changed. The computer school has been redecorated, things are now looking a lot smarter and we have a very tacky moving picture, the sort you might find in a Chinese take-away.

Ventured into the city centre at lunchtime to do some chores. Went to the library to return a book on SSH and a book on firewalls took out a book on Cascading Style Sheets and a book on Sed and Awk. To my immense surprise, Borders had the new issue of Giant Robot magazine. Giant Robot continues to move me. It's a real magazine, written by people who have a deep love of Asian culture and who take great pleasure in seeking out new things. Above all, the editors, Eric Nakamura and Martin Wong, still keep it real.

As has happened several times before, my life was saved by reading Giant Robot on the way home from work. If I hadn't had a copy of Giant Robot to read, I would have perished in the bleak greyness that is this hellish city.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Room With A View

Got up at 11 am. Looked out of my window at the trees in my garden and the grey sky above. Coming back to the UK is never easy, but amongst all the darkness, some light can be found.

I have piles and piles of junk to sort out, mainly thousands of pages of printed material but also lots of computers and other tech stuff. I'm aiming to get everything organised by June...

Friday, January 05, 2007

The Long Walk To Boredom

Had breakfast at 9 am. Packed up my stuff and said goodbye to the staff of the pension. Walked to Alexanderplatz for the last time.

Richard and I killed some time in Dunkin' Doughnuts. We watched an episode of InDigital that I had downloaded while packing. It wasn't very good but it occupied some time.

Arriving at Berlin Schoenefeld airport, we were greeted by a Scottish man asking for our train tickets in order to sell them and buy drugs with the money. My ticket was of no use to him, but he eagerly took Richard's one-day pass.

On the plane I finished reading "Code: The Hidden Language Of Computer Hardware And Software" by Charles Petzold. I need to read it again soon. The flight was uneventful, despite bad weather. Landed at Gatwick after being airbourne for around 2 hours. Arriving in Gatwick airport is like US Foreign Policy: it makes me want to kill myself and others.

Got a lift home. Slept for some of the 2-hour journey.

When I got home I held my cat very tightly. I listened to Cambodian psychedelic rock music and drank Pepsi Max (maximum taste, no sugar; carbonated beverage of hacker generation X). I stared at my computer books, and my future.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Photography And Pornography

I slept most of the morning and early afternoon.

In the evening I took a train to Berlin's famous Zoo station. The place Richard had arranged to meet me turned out to be some kind of needle exchange. Nice.

We went to a photo gallery that Richard had spotted a few days before. As it was a Thursday and as it was after 6:30 pm, entrance to the gallery was free. The collections consisted largely of porn. There were some war photos as well. I watched part of a video of a photo shoot involving Courtney Love. Being reminded that Courtney Love existed was an unpleasant experience but it wasn't as bad as it had been in my dreams and nightmares. The gallery was full of young people, probably because it was free. It's always good to find where the young people in a city hang out. I like young people very much, but they tend to make me sick sometimes.

Richard wanted to go to a vegetarian Indian restaurant that he had found in a guide book. Amazingly, we found the restaurant, and it was very good. We went to Ben And Jerry's afterwards for ice cream.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Checkpoint Charlie

Richard and I went to the Checkpoint Charlie museum. It was expensive and strange. The museum was opened in a house, a couple of years after the Berlin Wall was built. It consists of a series of small rooms linked by narrow passages and filled with random crap. About half the stuff in the museum is art, the remaining exhibits are various escape devices such as cars with hidden compartments, suitcases which people hid in and even a huge hot air balloon that two families used to escape over the wall.

After looking around the museum we met up with my friend Keiko. Walked around looking for food. We eventually found the place I had gone to with Mitch. We ate falafel and pizza. Keiko ate cake. Greedy Keiko. I noticed a Mafia guy sitting at a table when we arrived. After about 40 minutes, he started talking to the staff about something. It seemed like things were going to get nasty. After a while he left. The owners of the cafe made a series of phone calls and a couple of tough-looking guys arrived. We decided to leave.

In the evening I met up with Mitch and Peter for dinner. We went to an Indian restaurant again. This one was much better than the one we had previously been to, both in terms of the food and of the service. It was sad to be seeing Mitch and Peter for the last time in quite a while, I've really enjoyed spending time with them and hearing about their various adventures in Silicon Valley before and during the Dot Com era. Mitch invited me to San Francisco to hang out with him sometime. I'll definitely take him up on the offer.

Mitch Altman


I got to know Mitch a little in New York City last year while attending the HOPE conference. I actually met Mitch before the conference at New York radio station WBAI, where we were both waiting to go on the show Off The Hook. I got on well with Mitch from the beginning, and we talked quite a bit at HOPE. Hanging out with him in Berlin has been a really great experience and just goes to show that life can be good sometimes:)

(Photo by Jacob Appelbaum)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Bursting The Bubble

Woke up at 7:45 for breakfast. The blister on my foot has got much bigger, it's now about 5 cm long and 3 cm wide. I spent some time trying to cut the blister open with a pair of nail clippers, it was impossible so in the end I used a spike on my Swiss Army knife. Fuck. Lots of liquid, lots of pain and a few laughs later, my foot looked a bit better. I went to bed again afterwards and slept for a few hours.

My mobile is out of credit, despite the fact that I've only send a few (6-10) texts and made 2 calls, each of less than a minute. Some googling of the Vodafone website reveals that I'm probably being charged to receive calls and SMS messages. Fucking Vodafone.

Met up with Richard. He has been feeling unwell, probably due to drinking too much coffee. We had dinner in an Italian restaurant near Alexanderplatz. Good food at reasonable prices, the only problem was the smoke. One must get used to such things in Germany.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Television, The Drug Of The Nation

I can't help noticing it's the first day of 2007. (Note: This is a lie. Every fucking day is the same. Really.)
Richard and I met up with Mitch Altman, inventor of TV-B-Gone and his friend Peter, who helps run the TV-B-Gone business. We met at the world clock in Alexanderplatz and then took an underground train in search of food. We ended up having dinner at an Indian restaurant. The staff were very impolite but the food was ok. Peter told us many tales of impolite staff in Germany.

Peter and Mitch took us to a Ben And Jerry's ice cream parlour. I had ice cream like I've never tasted before. I didn't know anything about Ben And Jerry's, an ice cream company started in 1978 and now owned by the delightful people at Unilever. I now know a little more than nothing, which is probably as much knowledge as I need on the subject.

Mitch turned off the TV in the corner of the ice cream parlor when we arrived. He and Peter have turned off the TV several times there over the past few days. We talked about the conference, the success of TV-B-Gone, the hacker ethic and many other topics. We were joined by a friend of Peter's from Hungary. Conversation turned to Russian literature and the works of Stanislaw Lem, a Polish writer who died last year. Before leaving Ben And Jerry's, Mitch turned off the TV again.

Mitch, Richard and I walked to Alexanderplatz. Richard felt ill so he went back to his hostel. Mitch and I went up the famous Fernsehturm (Television tower) You can read about the tower here. We discussed possible variations on TV-B-Gone such as using a laser diode instead of an LED. We also talked about Mitch's next product, an electronic relaxation device. Mitch is going to have an article about the device published in the next issue of Make magazine. I'm very much looking forward to it.

Mitch and I went for an extremely long walk, choosing whichever direction felt best. At around midnight we found a Turkish bar/cafe which had an awesome mezzanine floor and a palm tree. We ate falafel and observed young Turks running free.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Eve Of Destruction


It's New Year's Eve, 2006. Do you know who's in your boxen?

In an incredible break from tradition, I actually received an invitation to a social occasion! The invitation was to spend New Year's Eve with Sebastian, a German computer science student who Richard and I had met at the 23C3. Richard was not keen on the idea because he had his heart set on seeing the fireworks at the Brandenburg Gate, not sitting inside with a bunch of geeks. Also, as Sebastian observed shortly after meeting Richard his "life follows a sad pattern". I persuaded Richard that we should go to Sebastian's apartment, assuming he would leave at some point to go to the Brandenburg Gate. Sebastian's apartment was wonderful. The interior was very modern and it was quite spacious. I was surprised when he told us how low the rent was. It made me think about the standard of living here in Berlin compared to that in Rip-Off Britain, and how much I hate the UK.

Sebastian's brother and some of his friends came over. Everyone was friendly and interesting. And clever. Guess which one is most important to me:)

Somebody cooked great pizza at some point. Richard and the others drank B52's, a three-layer cocktail consisting of Bailey's, Grand Marnier and Kahlua. For reasons that were never made clear, it was decided that the drinks should be set on fire and then drunk through a straw. This proved to be quite a dangerous course of action as the straws caught fire and molten plastic dripped everywhere.

Throughout the night I spent quite a bit of time playing Street Fighter 2 on MAME. I've always considered SF2 to be a console game as most of my friends played it on the SNES. I felt it was very inferior to Final Fight, a side scrolling beat 'em up that Dr Edward Bearskin and I used to play for hours on end. I was never into console games as a teenager, being an owner of an Amiga.(A REAL computer) It was still good to see the game and all the characters I had forgotten: Guile, Chun-Li, Dhalsim, Ken, Ryu, Blanka etc.

It was somehow decided that we should all go to the Brandenburg Gate for the countdown to midnight. We traveled by bus and arrived to find what appeared to be a small war. Fireworks were being set off in the street and were flying around just a few feet from people's heads. The ground was covered with broken glass. At midnight champagne and wine glasses were produced. Despite some minor peer pressure from Richard, I didn't drink any.

When we got back to Sebastian's apartment we ate more pizza and discussed various issues relating to cryptography, steganography and anonymity for many, many hours. Eventually it was past 4 am and time to go home. All in all, probably the best New Year's Eve I've ever had.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

CCC: Day 4 Of The 23C3

The last day of the 23rd Chaos Computer Congress.
I walked into the second half of a talk on unusual security bugs. From what I could gather it was mostly ANSI C Standard stuff and poor coding practices. Towards the end of the talk I fell asleep. This wouldn't have been a problem except that I had forgotten to turn off my mobile, and I received a call from Richard. Mobiles are dumb.

Podjournalism
This talk on podcasting started out poorly, largely because it was not funny enough, despite a dumb girl in the front row laughing continuously, presumably she was a friend/enemy of the speaker. It improved a lot towards the end. A Frenchman was involved.

TV-B-Gone
I missed Mitch Altman's talk about his invention TV-Be-Gone at HOPE this year, so it was good to have a chance to see it at the CCC. TV-B-Gone is a simple device but Mitch's talk was mainly about the role television played in his childhood and about how this had led him to building a device for turning off TV's. Great stuff.

While checking me email, I spotted what appeared to be a Japanese hacker. I asked her to sit down so I could question her. She obliged, so we sat down and discussed various topics related to Japan, Web 2.0 and technology in general. Although she wasn't really a hacker, Fumi Yamazaki was very cool. She works for Technorati, a blog search engine. Fumi said it would be ok to interview her sometime using Skype, I'll try to get it done next month sometime.

Culture Jamming & Discordianism
Fumi and I watched this rather weak talk given by Autumn Tyr-Salvia, an American girl. It had all be said before, and in far more eloquent ways.


The 23 Chaos Computer Congress Closing Ceremony
The 23C3 has passed more quickly than any conference I have attended in the past. Tim Pritlove reviewed the congress and shared some insights into various things that had gone on. Lots of people were thanked. Photos were taken. Sadness mixed with pride. I said goodbye to Fumi and I resolved to return to Japan next year, even if it's just for a couple of months. Many of us here will be getting together in the summer next year for a hacker camp, and of course it's only 12 months until the next mother-fucking Chaos Communication Congress.

During this last day of the 23C3 I grew older in a short space of time. When I draw my final breath on this vile planet will I say "Shit, I thought we'd only just got started..."

Friday, December 29, 2006

CCC: Day 3 Of The 23C3



Got to the CCC at 10:30 am, I would have preferred to stay in bed for another couple of hours, but I wanted to watch Jacob Appelbaum's talk, which was in the first session of the day.

Unlocking FileVault
A talk on security of Apple FileVault, an encryption system built into Mac OS X. Like many good hacker talks, it started with a song. Jacob Appelbaum and Ralf-Philipp Weinmann then discussed their investigation into FileVault security and a tool they had built. Special guest Hikari (David Hulton) then demonstrated a high speed password cracking method using an FPGA on a Compact Flash card.

Fuzzing In The Corporate World
Talk on the use of fuzzing in software testing by an Israli security consultant. He began his talk by asking the audience how many of them had sold out and were now working for big corporations. He was quite embarrassed when nobody put their hand up. European hackers don't sell out as easily as hackers in the US and other countries do. The talk was basic but so is my knowledge of fuzzing, so things worked out well. I was sitting at the back of the room and couldn't really see the speaker. There was, however, a good wireless signal so I was able to watch the speaker on my laptop using the IP streaming that had been set up.

Nintendo DS
This was a nice talk on reverse engineering the Nintendo DS handheld games console. I don't like games consoles, but reverse engineering interests me greatly. A good talk overall, although my low opinion of consoles still stands.

"An Introduction To Traffic Analysis"
Most of the examples in the beginning of the talk were covert channel attacks, not traffic analysis. The speaker tried to emphasise the importance of traffic analyis but didn't have any strong examples in his talk. Afterwards, someone asked for a concrete example and the speaker showed a map of Indymedia nodes. From the map a list of the top 100 nodes was made. Killing the top 100 nodes would probably destroy Indymedia.

"Security In Cardholder Data Processing"
This talk didn't contain any information on credit cards, instead it detailed standard security auditing of companies which run credit card systems. I found it to be both interesting and useful, although the delivery was poor.

"On Free, And The Differences Between Culture And Code"
A silly American saying a lot of silly stuff about copyright. The presentation was well done, but ultimately, the guy had nothing to say. Talks like this bring out the worst in the hacker community. Speakers know that if they talk about free software, open source, hackers being clever etc., they will get a good response. Stupid people talking to stupid people.

"Automated Exploit Detection In Binaries"
Luis Miras gave this presentation on a software project of his which uses automated reverse engineering techniques to look through compiled programs and find possible buffer overflows in them. Even with my limited knowledge of C and assembly, I was still able to follow it without difficulty. The software is designed to be multi-platform and therefore uses a virtual machine. Simply coding the VM itself is a difficult task, so the whole project is a serious undertaking. For reasons that weren't made clear, the code was being written in Objective C.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

CCC: Day 2 Of The 23C3

Slept for a few hours and then was woken by the voice of a girl telling me that breakfast was ready. I intended to get some work done while eating, but it was not to be.

Sleep deprivation has impaired my ability to think coherently, I sat at the breakfast table with my notepad, failing to write anything of value. The food in my hostel is really good and eating breakfast is already having a positive effect on me. In 2007 I'll aim to eat breakfast more often...


Annoyingly I didn't arrive at the CCC in time for the talk on infrastructure hacking. It discussed weaknesses in backbone routing protocols and sounded very interesting. Yesterday I met Raven, the woman who was giving the talk. She said she had been investigating insecurities in routing protocols in the US and had found some massive security holes. She contacted the Internet Service Providers concerned and got some pretty stupid responses including "Please don't publicise that weak password you found because we're not going to change it". All talks at the CCC will be available for download at some point in the near future, so I'll download it then.

"Detecting Temperature Through Clock Skew"
This talk was on identifying computers remotely across a network by using a side channel attack. It was given by a Scottish(?) guy called Steven J. Murdoch who works at the Cambridge University computer lab. He was an excellent speaker, and that talk was full of deep hacker magic. The basic idea is that the various clocks used in computers tend to drift due to the temperature inside the computer case. This drifting(clock skew) can be measured using TCP timestamps and is unique enough to be useful as a fingerprint for the specific make, model and even individual PC.

"Tor And China"
This talk was mainly about Tor, an Electronic Frontier Foundation project for anonymous communication which uses a series of tunnels. It was all quite silly. I'm starting to think that the EFF are fighting battles which have already been lost and that they lack understanding the big picture. The talk began with a series of very questionable assumptions upon which Tor is based. People think Tor is important because it is fun and it sounds cool. Currently, for whatever reasons, the people involved with developing it are not people with a good understanding of the nature of the world or the nature of security. This may change in the future, but it's likely that Tor is fundamentally broken, and unless the project is seen as nothing more than a way to learn about some interesting topics, its value is limited.

Quick break for food and coffee, followed by talk on RFID:

"A Hacker's Toolkit For RFID"
The talk covered RFID jamming and spoofing as well as auditing RFID systems. The speaker was a young American woman, and she was quite good, all things considered. One of the problems she suffered from was common to many hackers: she talked about how to make bad stuff slightly better instead of talking about how to destroy the bad stuff. This is wrong.

The Apple Powerbook's crap wireless is really starting to piss me off. Everyone around me seems to be using the wifi here with ease, but due to the crummy Apple wifi card and the poor built-in aerial, I get nothing.

"RFID Hacking"
Another talk on RFID, this one given in three parts by three different people, Karsten Nohl, z0ccor and Henry Plotz. The first part was about making a fake ticket for a World Cup game. It wasn't very detailed but was still interesting. One of the most interesting things was a photo of a ticket that had been placed in a microwave for 2 seconds. You could see the charred paper around aerial and battery of the RFID tag. This suggests that although microwave ovens can be used to destroy RFID tags, it's not a useful method if you then had to present a document containing the tag at a checkpoint etc. Part two covered privacy issues with RFID. The concept presented was that tracking people by RFID is easier than one would imagine. This is a very important point, because most previous studies had always assumed the person would have a single tag. In fact, over the next few years most new clothing will be tagged, so it won't be unusual for people to be wearing 6-10 tags. Part 3 gave a practical blueprint of how to reverse engineer an RFID card system. The speaker lived in university accommodation which used RFID cards as keys. He was able to successfully spoof the key to his room using an Ipod and a homemade transmitter. He went step-by-step through the whole process, using tools such as GNUradio and USRP.

"Stealth Malware"
This talk covered rootkits, trojans, viruses, worms and other nice things. It was given by Joanna Rutkowska. At the first CCC I went to(21C3) I saw her give a talk on passive covert channels in Linux. Although is was basic, and she had got a few things wrong, the talk was still very good and it got me very interested in the stegonographic use of TCP/IP. Her talk on malware was interesting, but nothing special. A bit like Rutowska herself.

"Homegrown Interactive Tables"
This talk was in German, but was still very cool. It was given by a team who built their own version of Multitouch, a giant touch screen which can recognise multiple points instead of just a single point. The touch screen they built is in the lounge area of the CCC, I played around with it a bit and thought it had a lot of potential. I'm going to look into building one.

Black Ops of TCP/IP
Although Dan Kaminsky is selling more of his soul each day, his talks are still very interesting and very entertaining. This year his talk covered graphical tools for analysing bineries, various SSH issues and fuzzing. Kaminsky's style is great, and he has a knack for looking at old tech in new and interesting ways.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

CCC: Day 1 Of The 23C3


A very poor keynote speaker from the EFF. He claimed that hackers are a serious threat to the public and must be dealt with by the hacker community. He talked about hackers working for mafia in eastern Europe etc. Very lame.

The Grim Meathook Future
I was planning to go to a talk on a CCC RFID project, but the room was completely packed so Richard and I ended up in a talk called the Grim Meathook Future. It was a complete surprise to find that the speaker was eloquent, funny and had some very serious stuff to say. The talk focussed on false assumptions made about the future summed up by the phrase "In the future everything will work". This is the reason I come to hacker cons, not the tech stuff, but the few talks which hit very hard, and tell you things that you knew were true but that you don't allow to affect the way you live your life. I didn't agree with much of what he said, but the general thrust of the first part of the talk was that many hackers are in love with their toys and run around telling everyone how such tools will change the world.

Privacy In Web 2.0
Web 2.0 is a bunch of crap. This fact should be reflected on deeply. Regardless of this, I still attended the talk. Although I've often said that the European hacker scene is more advanced than that of the US, one of the negative aspects of the advanced nature of the hacker scene here is that people here seem to talk more about things in a theoretical and abstract way.

Drones
Got stuck in a talk in German. Fortunately the talk contained some videos, some pictures and a demonstration. Although I couldn't understand what was being said, it seemed to me that a lot of it was just talk about toy helicopters with mounted cameras and video senders. Certainly not drones, but still quite cool.

We Don't Trust Voting Computers
I have no interest in voting and voting computers. I attended this 2-hour talk simply because the speaker rocks. The speaker, Rop Gonggrijp, headed a campaign against voting computers in The Netherlands. Being 31337 haxors, Rop and his team were able to obtain some voting computers, find some insecurities in them and publicise them widely.

Riding On The Rocket



Arriving at the Berliner Conference Centre and seeing The Heart Of Gold, the Chaos Computer Club's rocket affected me more than I could have imagined. It means that, at least for the next few days, I have a chance at living my life in a better, deeper way.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Boxing Day In Berlin



Slept for the whole of the flight. Got from the airport to Alexanderplatz without difficulty. Found my hostel. Waited an hour for a member of staff to turn up. My room is clean and warm but there's little else to say about it. Slept for a couple of hours then walked back to Alexanderplatz.

Arriving at the Chaos Communication Congress feels wonderful. It's 19:46, there are already a couple of hundred people milling around, sitting on the many sofas, setting up projects, infrastructure and generally making magic.

Ate some pizza and soaked up the atmosphere of the lounge area. There are lots of projects set up around the lounge, and there's a dj as well, so it's a good place to spend time.

Queued for an hour at registration, somehow 500+ people had arrived without me noticing. The CCC is using wrist bands this year instead of the usual lanyards. Also, we weren't given a programme. Change is inevitable.

Met Glen, a guy I had met at What The Hack in The Netherlands last year. He always gets involved in running hacker cons, which seems to be a very sensible thing to do.

Richard arrived. We wondered around a bit, then went to our hostels, Richard using the train, myself on foot.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Xmas day

Woke up late. Ate some pasta. Did my packing. My aunt had kindly offered to drive me to the airport. We left home at about 3:30 pm. My aunt is an excellent driver, and the roads were almost empty so it was a very pleasant drive. We listened to some great music: Half Man, Half Biscuit, The Pretenders and Squeeze.

Got to the airport around 6 pm. Said goodbye to my aunt and followed the signs to Departures.

There was a sign on the door to the terminal building. It read "We are fucking stupid cunts. We don't give a fuck about anything or anyone so we've decided to close the terminal building until 2 am tomorrow. You can go sit in the chapel, or fuck off, the choice is yours." I decided to walk into Luton town centre, and find somewhere comfortable to kill some time. At this point I had my Christmas dinner. It consisted of a 500 ml bottle of tap water.

People and roads don't mix. Everything around the airport was designed for cars, not people. I walked along endless roads, most of which were without pavements. I eventually found a footpath, the sign next to it claimed that that the town centre was a mere 1.25 miles away. I had been walking for 25 minutes so this was a welcome relief. A few metres down the path I found my way blocked by a temporary fence. Attached to the fence was a sign saying that the path was being closed for vegetation clearing, and that it would be open again 4 months ago. I climbed around the fence, and continued walking. After 10 minutes I came to a huge pile of earth which looked too difficult to get around. I turned back.

Almost 2 hours after I had left the airport, I was in the town centre, standing outside a junk food place. I went in and ordered a set meal. There was a constant stream of customers, mainly taxi drivers and Indian teenagers. My order took ages but it was cheap and filling so I wasn't too annoyed.

It seemed much colder when I went outside again. Nothing was open so I took a taxi to the airport and looked for the chapel.

I got to the chapel shortly before 10 p.m. All airports have chapels, so that if there is a plane crash people have somewhere to chill out. This was my first time to visit one. Like most things, it was very silly.

Bigm000 called me up. He arrives in Berlin in the evening, so I'll probably meet up with him in Alexanderplatz.

There were quite a few people in the lobby of the chapel, some sitting, but most lying huddled against the walls. In the chapel itself, there were another 10 or so people, sleeping in the darkness.

Slept on and off until midnight. Sleeping on the floor was surprisingly painful. I had my fleece as a pillow and my raincoat as a blanket but it was still uncomfortable and cold.

Only in England can things be so utterly pathetic.

By 12:45 there were 20 people in the lobby. It was far too noisy to sleep. There are no toilets here so I'm avoiding drinking the water I have left.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

XMAS eve

Didn't get to bed until 5:30 am this morning. Got up at 9:30 to go to London.

Struck by the cultural diversity while we drove through London high streets. Huge variety of ethnic shops etc. In Norwich we have neither culture nor diversity, let alone cultural diversity itself.

Spent a couple of hours in London, talking to some family members.

Came home on a coach at 6:30. Tried to sleep but was kept awake by screaming kids and their mother.

Stayed up until around 2 am reading.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Chance Meeting, Curry Eating

I had to get up early in order to get to the bank to pay in a cheque. I got my currency for my trip to Berlin. It's sad I have to use Euros and not Deutsche Marks.

I met Keiko by chance in the city centre. We went to my house and ate delicious Japanese curry.

Met a friend in the afternoon to borrow a copy of "The Book Of Strangers" from him. Looks like it's going to be an interesting read.

Listened to a couple of episodes of Brain Damage from the late 1980's. They can be downloaded from www.2600.com

Friday, December 22, 2006

Eat. Buy. Consume. Then Die.

Takako and Keiko came to my house for an English lesson. We talked about the Japanese economy, the pension crisis that will hit Japan in a few years and also about the changing nature of company culture. The lesson went very well, the best one so far. One possible reason that it went well is that we hadn't eaten a large lunch before starting the lesson.

In the evening I watched the film THX-1138 with some friends. After the film we discussed many of the issues that it raised. I didn't leave until past midnight. I should have gone straight home to bed but instead I spent some time in a phonebox, enjoying freefone numbers while they still last.

Got back home around 1:30 am. Read about the UK phone system for an hour before falling asleep, text file in hand. I dreamt of crossbar, SS7, routing, switching and multiplexing.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's A New Find

Met a couple of friends for tea at a very expensive hotel run by the Russian Mafia.(Supposedly...) It was an ideal setting for tea: peaceful, clean and comfortable. While drinking my tea, it occurred to me that more houses should have courtyards and that we should spend our time sitting in the courtyards drinking tea.

Being the third Thursday of the month, I attended the usual poor lecture on Japanese history and culture. It was some bollocks about the Jomon era of Japan, 10,000 BC to 300 BC.

After I went to dinner as usual at the Thai Dragon. My friends and I were joined by Hiroko, a Master's student studying translation. I don't know much about translation so I very much look forward to learning about it from her next year.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Tokyo Fucking Robotnik

There's still loads of work to be done on Tokyo Robotnik but now that I've got it a bit more organised, it's worth taking a look.

The following is used without permission. Anyway, the BBC are a bunch of cunts, so I don't give a fuck...

'Paris Syndrome' strikes Japanese
By Caroline Wyatt
BBC News, Paris

Sacre Coeur church in Montmartre, Paris
The reality of Paris does not always live up to the dream
A dozen or so Japanese tourists a year have to be repatriated from the French capital, after falling prey to what's become known as 'Paris syndrome'.

That is what some polite Japanese tourists suffer when they discover that Parisians can be rude or the city does not meet their expectations.

The experience can apparently be too stressful for some and they suffer a psychiatric breakdown.

Around a million Japanese travel to France every year.

Many of the visitors come with a deeply romantic vision of Paris - the cobbled streets, as seen in the film Amelie, the beauty of French women or the high culture and art at the Louvre.

The reality can come as a shock.

An encounter with a rude taxi driver, or a Parisian waiter who shouts at customers who cannot speak fluent French, might be laughed off by those from other Western cultures.

But for the Japanese - used to a more polite and helpful society in which voices are rarely raised in anger - the experience of their dream city turning into a nightmare can simply be too much.

This year alone, the Japanese embassy in Paris has had to repatriate four people with a doctor or nurse on board the plane to help them get over the shock.

An encounter with a rude Parisian can be a shocking experience
They were suffering from "Paris syndrome".

It was a Japanese psychiatrist working in France, Professor Hiroaki Ota, who first identified the syndrome some 20 years ago.

On average, up to 12 Japanese tourists a year fall victim to it, mainly women in their 30s with high expectations of what may be their first trip abroad.

The Japanese embassy has a 24-hour hotline for those suffering from severe culture shock, and can help find hospital treatment for anyone in need.

However, the only permanent cure is to go back to Japan - never to return to Paris.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Lunch Of Doom

Had a crap lunch with my colleagues. The food was bad, the restaurant was empty, and it was fucking freezing because the air conditioning was on. Why do people live like this?

My boss has decided to decorate our computer school himself. Today he painted one of the walls blue. Once all six walls(L-shaped room) are painted, it will probably look quite good. Currently, with one blue wall and five white walls, it looks rather silly.

Went to a pub in the evening for a meal with my family. The food was great, although some of the combinations on the menu were a bit strange. The service was very good and the atmosphere was reasonable.

Not much to report on the Ipswich serial killer. Nothing at all, really.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Tears Of A Klown

I don't make a habit of crying at work, but today I couldn't help myself:

As regular readers of this blog will be aware, a serial killer is currently operating in Ipswich, a crap town near here. While I was reading a news update on the BBC website which stated that a suspect had been arrested, I thought it would be a good idea to save a copy of the news page onto my laptop, and edit it to make the news a bit more interesting.

I made a few edits, implicating a colleague of mine in the murders. The colleague in question teaches maths, and used to be in a detective in London. I wrote that the suspect had been released, and that the police were now looking for a retired cop in connection with the killings.

One piece I added read "The police believe the suspect may be using his knowledge of forensics and trigonometry to evade capture". It was quite a struggle to edit the page without laughing too much, especially as Chris, a guy I work with, was sitting just a couple of feet away.

I showed Chris my handy work. He realised almost straight away that it was a local copy of the website that had been edited. He told my boss to have a read of it, without pointing out that it was fake. My boss was amazed by what he read. It was at this point that my laughter caused me to cry. My boss got Christine, the office manager to have a look as well.

Just when I thought I couldn't laugh harder, Christine's husband called her, and mentioned that someone had been arrested for the murders in Ipswich. Christine then read my spoof news update to her husband, saying that it must be breaking news. I escaped into the office where I found Chris, doubled-up over a desk, laughing as hard as I was. Eventually my boss came in to see if we were ok. Gasping for air, I explained that I had edited the page a little....

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Double-Fucking Sleepy Sunday

Didn't get to bed until 4:30 am this morning. If I had stayed up late learning useful things I would feel better about it, instead I just fucked about on the Net.

Sometime in the afternoon I went to see Edward Pacman with Richard. Ed is now the proud owner of a house, and a very nice house it is. I borrowed some Woody Allen videos from Ed, I'll probably watch them at the weekend.

Spent some time redesigning the Tokyo Robotnik website. I haven't uploaded the new pages yet, but it will be soon. I've been looking for other websites on Tokyo and Japan, so far all of them have been crap. When I eventually sort Tokyo Robotnik out, it will cause the owners of other Japan-related websites to weep with shame.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Hiroshima Mon Amour

A good way to start the day is to receive a Christmas card from a friend in Hiroshima. That's exactly what happened to me today. Thanks Megumi-san!

In the afternoon I went to "China World", a very small Chinese shop in the city centre. I was going to buy some Japanese curry roux, but it was over 3 quid. Instead I bought some instant ramen. I suddenly felt the need to support the Chinese community here so I bought some cheap Chinese batteries and some chopstick rests. I still spent less that 3 pounds.

I ventured into the main library in the city centre in order to borrow a DVD. I was shocked by what I saw. There were about 50 emo kids sitting on the floor, giving the place a refugee-camp atmosphere. My friend Spoon, an employee of the library, was dealing with a technical problem on one of the PC's so we had a chat while he worked.

My friend Anwar and I went to Wagamama for some very poor food. We followed this by taking average tea at a bad cafe. After a walk in a quiet part of the city centre to look at the cathedral, we went to Take 5, a reasonable cafe/bistro. At one point Anwar suggested that we start hanging around in saunas.

After all was said and done, once the war was lost and won, I went home and watched the Woody Allen film "Sleeper" which I had borrowed from the library

At this point you have a good idea of how I spent my day. Happy now?

Friday, December 15, 2006

City At Night


Woke up shortly before 6 am. Had lost all my confidence. Went back to sleep and slept until around 9 am. Fell asleep again and woke at 11:30 am. Fuck.

Had to drop a repeat prescription off for a family member. When I got to the doctors' surgery I found that it had closed for lunch and would reopen in 30 minutes. I headed into a nearby park to kill some time. Hanging around in parks on grey days is my idea of fun.

Keiko came over to get some help in an art history essay. She spent some time watching me improving my CSS, and then we watched music videos from the 1980's. Then she left. Art history is crap anyway:)

Hung around beside a road for part of the night. I took a photo of it for the enjoyment of everyone out there in Internet Land.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Un-Fucking Believable

UK gov has told the Serious Fraud Office to stop investigating illegal arms deals between the UK company BAE Systems and Saudi Arabia. This is on the grounds that the UK's (financial) relationship with Saudi Arabia is more important that the truth.

BAE Systems is a corrupt UK arms manufacturer. Saudi Arabia is a jolly unpleasant country, located in the Middle East. It was a match made in heaven.

I hate this fucking country.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ten Years Asleep

Met the office manager while walking in to work this morning. I didn't recognise her at first because I was still 80% asleep.

I decided that today was the day that I ought to learn about the flag of Mauritius. It has four stripes: red, blue, yellow and green. According to wikipedia "The red stripe represents the struggle for independence. The blue stripe represents the ocean around the island. The yellow stripe represents the sun and golden light of independence. The green stripe represents fruitful soil and vegetation."

Started reading "Smiley's People", A Cold War thriller by John le Carré that I've read several times before.

Discovered a great music video site: www.999videos.com There are plenty of great videos from The Doors, Soft Cell, Kraftwerk, Radiohead, Davo, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie and Daft Punk. If you find something there you like, please post a comment on this post.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Dead Man's Tuesday

Downloaded some choice Talking Heads tracks at work: Psycho Killer, Life During Wartime, Heaven and Give Me Back My Name.

When I got home I watched part of Annie Hall, the part in which Annie, Max and Alvy go to LA. I'll watch it again tomorrow night.

Chatted on SDF until 3 am. I hadn't chatted online for ages and was pleasantly surprised to find that a lot of my old friends were still hanging out in the SDF chatroom.

Monday, December 11, 2006

His Brain Is Squirmin' Like A Toad

Woke up at 7:30 am. Got out of bed at 8:10. Left house 20 minutes later, feeling very crap.

My boss designed a Christmas card for us to send to some of our more important customers. When I say "designed", I mean he just found some stock photos and stuck then in a Word file. The resulting card sucks, but not as much as Christmas itself.

There's a serial killer operating in Ipswich, a town near here, murdering prostitutes. Three bodies have been found, two more young women have gone missing. Welcome to the cheap seats.

Spent the night correcting Keiko's essay on Christian art and reading my new book on CSS.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Murder In The First

Gemma walked to the train station with me around midday. We took a scenic route through Ipswich, although some would consider that to be somewhat oxymoronic.

Near the station, outside a nightclub, there was a massive crime scene. 5 cop cars, 2 unmarked cars with cops in, police vans, mobile office/lab etc. There must have been a terrorist incident or some kind of massacre.

Read Phrack on the train. Due to engineering works(read: transport in the UK is run by stupid cunts) I had to make part of the journey by bus.

When I finally got home I checked some local news websites to see what had happened in Ipswich: Triple Shooting, Fatal Stabbing, Non-fatal Stabbing.

Several prostitutes have been killed in Ipswich recently. Another was found today. Could be the start of something big, something to put Ipswich on the map.

Some stuff I had ordered from Amazon had arrived: "CSS: The Missing Manual" and "How To Draw Anything" and the CD "Dengue Fever" by Dengue Fever. For a few seconds I almost felt happy.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

It Had to Be Jew

There was no breakfast to speak of, just a cup of tea and a firm handshake.

We spent most of the day working on a couple of websites. When the hunger became unbearable, I made some poor pizzas, using ready-made pizza bases from a supermarket. It was not a meal, it was a cry for help.

We watched the Woody Allen film "Annie Hall" in the evening. One of the titles possible for the film was "It Had To Be Jew", it was considered unmarketable though. The film is insightful, and very funny. It's packed with great one-liners, my favourite being "He gives great meeting". I've watched Annie Hall many times but it is still warrants being watched many more times.

We watched the short film "Electronic Labyrinth THX-1138 4 EB". Gemma didn't get it, Simon was very impressed by the cinematography.

At around midnight we watched Threads. Although I had brought Threads with me on DVD and we had use of a video projector, we watched Threads on Google Video on my laptop.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Webwise

Gemma and I headed over to Simon's house in the morning. Nobody else came until after 11 am, although we were due to start at 9:30 am.

When some other people arrived, I started the workshop on web design. I talked for many hours and answered lots of questions. Simon has a video projector so I was able to demonstrate a lot of HTML and CSS stuff.

Teaching people to build and maintain real websites is surprisingly difficult. People want to know all about formatting and positioning without understanding protocols, standards, inheritance, usability, accessibility and all the other stuff that makes up 80% of real web design.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Ipswich Calling

This week we had the English lesson at Takako's house. Takako lives in a modern apartment near the train station. Although the area is a bit grim, the view over Norwich is very pleasant. We ate a great lunch which Takako prepared, with interference from Keiko.


In the evening I took the train to Ipswich, the town which would be my home for the next few days. My friend Gemma met me at the station. She showed me some of the sights of Ipswich. I did a very good job of not laughing. Ipswich is silly.

When we got to her house, Gemma cooked some butternut squash soup for us. It was very good, but very late. I've come to think of cooking as being something that happens very quickly. I think this is due to the fact that I mainly cook Asian food. We watched the film "Le Jetee" on my laptop. Although the screen is only 12 inches, the picture on the Apple Powerbook is great.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Whiskey In The Jar

My friend Richard passed the last of seven exams for an IT certification today. I still don't respect him. Takako also passsed an exam, scoring 94%.

I downloaded the Thin Lizzy track "Whiskey In The Jar" and found the lyrics.

As I was going over the Cork and Kerry mountains
I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was countin'
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier
I said "stand and deliver or the devil, he may take ya"

Chorus
Musha ring dum-a-do-dum-a-da
Whack for my daddy-o
Whack for my daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar-o

I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny
I took all of his money and I brought it home to Molly
She swore that she'd love me, never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman, for you know she tricked me easy
[chorus]

Being drunk and weary, I went to Molly's chamber
Taking Molly with me but I never knew the danger
For about six or maybe seven, in walked Captain Farrell
I jumped up, fired my pistols, and I shot him with both barrels,
[chorus]

Now some men like the fishin', and some men like the fowlin'
And some men like to hear, to hear the cannonballs a-roarin'
Me: I like sleepin', especially in my Molly's chamber
But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain, yeah
[chorus]

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Os Mutantes

Transferred a bunch of MP3s to my watch. Highlights include "Godspeed Girl" by Daylight Basement, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly, "And I Was A Boy From School" by Hot Chip and a live cover of "A Minha Menina", originally by Os Mutantes, performed by Belle And Sebastian.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Funeral In Berlin

Random day at work. I don't think much happened, but I can't be sure. I remember reading Bash.org at some point. This is a reasonable description of most of my days spent at work.

Finished reading Funeral In Berlin. A strong ending to a strange book.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

London Calling

Woke up at 7 am. Spent thirty minutes deciding whether to go to London or not. I decided against going and went back to sleep. Woke up again around 11 am.

Uploaded some photos from my camera. Here is one of my favourites:


Spent most of the day reading. I've almost finished "Funeral In Berlin". It will be the last novel I read for a long time.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Cambridge EASF

Took the train to Cambridge with Richard and Rebecca. At the third stop a vicar got onto the train and sat behind Rebecca. The sky darkened.

We arrived in Cambridge early, and it was quite pleasant to kill some time on Mill Road, a vibrant street with some interesting independent shops. I bought a refreshing can of lycee juice at the Post Office/Arab supermarket.

Cambridge EASF was certainly the worst EASF there's been for a long time. It was good that only a few people attended; if a large number of people had come it would have mattered more. We started with a workshop on email encryption, which confused everybody, followed be a talk the Plane Stupid campaign by two girls who weren't sure what they were doing. There was a screen printing demonstration which was quite good and a talk on ID cards which was great.

I doubt I'll go to the Japanese exam tomorrow because I don't feel very well and the journey is going to be a nightmare. There are engineering works taking place so part of the journey has to be made by bus.

Spent a long time looking for some documentation for the Japanese exam. I couldn't find it, so if I decide to go to the exam tomorrow I have to arrive early to obtain an exam voucher. Fun.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Noodle Doodle


Cooked fried noodles with Chinese five spice and pork for lunch at Keiko's house. There was very little interference from Keiko, so the food turned out well.
Not sure why I took so many photos of the noodles. Keiko's laptop had a built-in card reader, so I could upload the photos even though I didn't have the camera's USB cable with me.


Takako joined us after lunch for the English lesson. We had to have the lesson in Keiko's bedroom instead of the kitchen, which is where we usually have it. It was a bit strange but we were still able to get through quite a lot of material.



Richard, Keiko and I had tea with Anwar. Richard zoned out quite a bit. It may be because he's vegetarian. Richard stayed the night at my house so we could go to Cambridge together tomorrow for EASF.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Fahrplan

The schedule for the Chaos Communication Congress has been released. 23c3 Fahrplan Looks like it's going to be just as intense as last year. Topics include firmware reverse engineering, RFID jamming, botnet detection, biometrics, side channel fingerprinting, VoIP, encrypted filesystems and electronic voting systems. Everything a young man needs to know in order to survive and thrive in these interesting times.


Heard an amazing group on a Giant Robot podcast called "Dengue Fever". They are a group from LA who play psychedelic Cambodian rock. The lead singer, Chhom Nimol, has a great voice. All the songs are in the Khmer language so I have no idea what the songs are about but it doesn't matter. On the strength of the fragment of "Hold My Hips" included in the podcast, I've ordered one of their albums from Amazon. One of the best groups I've heard for years. Sadly they have a crappy website made in Flash. Degue Fever Music

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

He Refused To Eat

Although my flu is getting better, I took a day off work. My day was spent reading, watching Seinfeld and updating this blog. Please scroll down and look for new entries. I still have over 100 draft blog entries and also a lot (100+?) of blog entries on my website that need to be added.

The 2 GB SanDisk card for my camera arrived. It holds 1050 4-megapixel photos. Way too many.

Richard came over. He refused to eat anything probably because he felt embarrassed. This meant I couldn't eat. It sucked.

Listened to some of the Giant Robot Magazine podcasts.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Thirty-Quid Look

A student mentioned that his laptop had stopped working and that he was sending it to his insurance company so they could replace it. He asked if I could get some files off the hard disk before he sent it. I put the hard disk in another laptop and burnt the files onto CD.

Like almost every computer ever brought in to work by a student, the laptop was full of porn. Quite sad when you consider the student is almost 60 years old. The point of the story though, is not the porn. The student said his son had taken the laptop to a computer shop. The computer shop charged him 30 pounds to look at the laptop. When the son collected the laptop he was told that there was a problem with the motherboard and that it would be uneconomical to repair. When I opened the laptop it was obvious that the computer shop hadn't opened it, they had just turned it on, seen that it wouldn't power up, and then did nothing. Thirty pounds for someone to look at a laptop...

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Sick And The Sickening


Despite being 90% dead, I went to work today. I had very little choice in the matter as two other members of staff are off on business.

I'm almost looking forward to my weekend. Cambridge on Saturday for the East Anglia Social Forum and London on Sunday for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test.

Ordered a 2 GB SanDisk memory card for my digital camera. Expect lots more photos over the next few months.

Played with Photoshop using a photo of my friend Richard.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Last Day

Met some friends in the city centre for tea and cake. The tea was very bad but the cake was pretty good. We then went to a pub. A dark pub. I had no chips, just orange juice.

Bought a pen.

Is this how I'll spend my last day on Earth?

Friday, November 24, 2006

Shakes At Tootsies

Went to Keiko's house to teach her and Takako English. I am very ill at the moment, so I must have looked quite rough. The lesson went well and Takako and Keiko are making good progress.

After the lesson I ate a late lunch at a bad restaurant with Keiko and her housemate Maria. We argued about the life of Mishima Yukio for three hours. Time well spent.



In the evening Richard and I went to Tootsies, an over-priced burger restaurant. We had expensive milkshakes and a fine old time.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Seinfeld Sickness

I am sick with influenza.

Got a call from my friend Gemma. She wants me to run some web design training in Ipswich. The training should be lots of fun, unlike Ipswich which is a dump.

Purchased supplies at the shit convenience store. I didn't buy enough. Even while I was standing in the shop I knew I wasn't buying enough. It's hard to explain. I was in a shit convenience store, surrounded by crappy products. I knew I had to buy lots of stuff, but it just wasn't possible. If the human race can, one day, comprehend all the causes and consequences of what happened at the shit convenience store, we will be significantly closer to understanding the human condition.

Watched lots of Seinfeld. It's like Friends but less repulsive.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Karamoon Quoted

There's been a big update on Dr Edward Bearskin's blog, The Long Weekends it's worth taking a look, mainly because he quotes me in the entry on Odaiba, an area of Tokyo.

Spent the morning teaching web design and administration to a woman who is interested in doing some courses. I talked for about 3 hours straight. I like talking. Not so keen on listening.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Fucked Up, Fixed Up

Discovered I had screwed up an exam booking, costing the company £130. I've never made a serious mistake at work before. Fortunately I was able to sort it out with a phone call.

Read about Seinfeld on Wikipedia. He has 270 million US dollars. I don't.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Seinfeld Sunday



Read the new issue of Giant Robot magazine. It's a constant reminder that I'm going nowhere fast.

Richard came over with a new book, "Programming Linux Hacker Tools Uncovered". Even an 31337 book can become lame in our hands. We watched about 6 episodes of Seinfeld.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Which Type Of Glue Is The Coolest?

I made onion soup for lunch. It was very good. I was not surprised.

Went to the cinema to watch the new James Bond film, Casino Royale. A bunch of us went: Richard, Emily, Penny, Edward Pacman and Guillaume. I enjoyed the film, but I don't consider it to be Bond film. It was far more violent and grim than older Bond films and was spoiled to some extent by stupid product placement for Sony mobile phones and laptops. Judi Dench is miscast as M, the head of MI6. Contrary to popular belief, Dench is not a good actor.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Cats


I had no breakfast this morning. No breakfast, no hope, no reason.

English lesson with Keiko and Takako. Took lots of photos of the two cats at Keiko's house. After the lesson we took lunch at an organic cafe near the telephone exchange.(Do you know where your local exchange is?) Takako and I had soup, Keiko ate a baguette. Silly Keiko.

At the cafe I read an article in the Guardian newspaper on passport security. The article was written by a Guardian journalist who had spent some time with Adam Laurie and Phil Booth. Laurie runs a secure hosting company called The Bunker, Booth is the national coordinator of the campaign against ID cards. I met Laurie at DefCon in 2004. One day I'll be somebody who people meet. Maybe.

I walked home listening to MP3's on my watch. Whatever next! Monkey tennis?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A Lecture To Kill Birds By

Keiko came over for tea and biscuits. We attended lecture on Buddhist deities with Maria, Takako and Koji. The lecture was dire. The lectures are always dire. I don't know how the speakers can sleep at night. It's pathetic.

We went for dinner at the Thai Dragon where we were joined by my friend Anwar. Anwar didn't eat, instead he looked into people's hearts. Hiding things from him is useless. Some people can see deeper than others.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Eat Brownies In The Street, Look Neat

Walked to work listening to MP3's. "Animal Nitrate" by Suede, "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, "Waking Up To Us" by Belle And Sebastian, "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus, "My Sharona" by The Knack, "Your Computer Master" by Red Martian, "Fake French" by Le Tigre, "I Wanna Be Adored" by The Stone Roses, "Twenty Years" by Placebo and much more besides.

Met my friend Anwar in the city centre on the way home. He gave me some brownies. People don't usually give me things, and I don't usually give much to others. I will give more in future.

Gemma and Rebecca came over. They were both in a slightly odd mood. We drank herbal tea and discussed living and killing.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Teaching Takako

Takako
Met my friend Takako in the library for an English lesson. It was wonderful to be teaching English seriously again. I remembered how exciting language learning and teaching is. When I was in Japan I was teaching English while studying Japanese which allowed me to have a much deeper understanding of language acquisition mechanisms than I would have had otherwise. I'm lucky that Takako really wants to learn which makes her a joy to teach.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Elite Frontier

Read some assembly tutorials online.

Spent most of the day reading about the games Elite and Frontier. Frontier was one of my favourite games on the Amiga. Like many Amiga games I used to play, it has had a profound impact on my psyche.

Downloaded some MP3's at work, mainly stuff by Belle And Sebastian and Hot Chip.

Met Richard on the way home from work. We stood in the street, reading a book on C++ together. People looked at us and wondered what it would take to be able to join our club.

Watched all 4 episodes of Chad Vader on Youtube. Quite funny.

Some day my blog entries will consist of more than just a list of stuff I did. There will be insight, wisdom, humorous observations and photos. I might get some friends too. And be able to code properly.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Phrackday

Read Phrack all day at work. Didn't get much work done but I did learn a lot about network security.

Here's a photo of Richard at my place of work.

Note that although he is meant to be studying, he is in fact reading a
blog.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Shadow Over Long Island

Listened to a radio play called "Shadow Over Long Island" written by Eric Corley, better known as Emmanuel Goldstein, editor of the 2600 hacker magazine. The play was recorded in 1985 and was about an accident at a fictional nuclear powerstation on Long Island. At the time the play was written, a nuclear power station was being built on Long Island, but it was never used. The play was quite good, mainly because it was set at the radio station. Every 20 minutes or so Eric Corley interrupted the play to tell listeners that it wasn't real. It's really worth listening to, you can download the play as 3 MP3 files from 2600.com

Might quit my job tomorrow.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Chinese Linux Install Day With Added Vow

Installed Red Hat 7 Linux this morning on an old PC. Played around with it quite a bit.

Bought lots of Chinese takeaway. Ate most of it. Vowed never to buy crappy fake Chinese food again. My vows mean nothing.

Watched Spygame.

Studied assembly for a bit.

Installed Debian over the Red Hat install.

What a day.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Blagged Tea

Met my friends Keiko and Takako in the morning at an expensive cafe. They want an English lesson once a week from me. The cake was good but the tea was mediocre.

Had lunch with Keiko at her house. We cooked a simple pasta dish. Keiko, as usual, tried to fuck it up. Watched "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". A very poor film. Watching it reminded me of why I don't watch crap films.

Very tempted to quit my job on Monday. Not sure I'll even turn up to work.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Quitting?

Struggling to stay at work today. Almost left without returning. When I did return my boss asked me what was wrong. I just said I was feeling unwell.